[if you ever actually make this or any other recipes, drop us a note as I will love to know how you got on! This recipe is so easypeasy you will have to be a seriously clueless dummba$$ who probably shouldnt be allowed anywhere near any kitchen implements to c00ock this one up...!]
This recipe goes out at the request of handsomestNICK & gorgeousnessCLAIRE, one of the most “OMGOMGOMGOMG! did you two get lost on the way to London fashion week or justcameofftherunwaybeautiful“ cutest couple ever to grace our supperclub since
(ok i lie. Maybe spongeb and pstar havent been to the supperclub).
I swear when they walked in I thought this song was playing and Adam Levine and his beau just walked in off a Victorias Secret set.
Ok Wen says I should stop my couple crush before it gets creepy.
I am assuming you didnt come here to listen to me rant about beautiful people.
(and if you are one of those people who found this site by searching for Singapore P*0*r*n (i know you do yeap i do – according to my wordpress site stats), gosh you must right now be one seriously disappointed sicko sat there in your underpants. Sorry there are no nekkid singalalaland women here, so you can stop scrolling furiously with your one free hand now.)
So yes, Kueh Ubi Bingka recipe!
We had this as desserts on our Aprils Fool menu recently as a petit four at the end with coffee and called it “Roast Pork” and had the guests scratching heads throughout dinner and wondering why the heck i was serving it as dessert after Milo Ice Cream… cos… well.. it really does look like Roast Pork no?
(ok maybe if u squinted a lil? and took some psychotropic drugs?)
WHAT DO I NEED TO GET!
454g of grated cassava/tapioca (I use Buenas brand frozen one. but im sure you can get this in the frozen food section of any decent Chinese supermarket. If they dont stock it, write letters to your MP, boycott them and throw eggs repeatedly at the owner until they do)
2 large eggs
120g of unsalted butter
225g of brown sugar
240ml coconut milk (if you use a regular can (440ml?), you’ll probably have leftovers, keep a couple of tablespoons aside and use rest to cook something like coconut rice or something. DONT WASTE OK! CAPTAIN PLANET SAYS SO!)
a teaspoon of salt
Songs from Marilyn Manson on repeat (optional)
WHAT DO I DO NOW WITH ALL THESE STUFFS!
(1) Preheat your oven to 190 deg celsius
(2) Take all the ingredients above. Chuck into a microwaveable (there is no shame in using a microwave ok. be brave be strong) bowl and blitz it on high in the microwave for two minutes. Take it out, and mix it all together.
(3) Chuck it back into the microwave and blitz it again for a minute. Take out and stir again. Some bits around the edge should firm up. Just stir them stubborn bad boys back in.
(4) You basically want a fairly thick and gloopy consistency. A bit like an oats porridge. or (if you bake cakes) cake batter. or (if you rear bees) slight thick runny honey. or (if you are a builder) wet cement. If its not thick enough, chuck it back into the microwave at 1 minute shots. It should look a bit like this. It will be crazy lumpy so have no fear. Dont panic. Its okay. Everythings gonna be alright.
(5) Lay a baking tin with baking paper. I use any baking tin I have handy. I guess a square one would be nice so you havent got any weirdo shaped ones ends if you use a round one.
(6) Now pour the gloopy mixture in.
(7) Put in oven (duh!).
(8) Be kiasu and watch it like a hawk.
(9) Or throw caution in the wind and come back in 40 mins. Go watch an episode of SpongeBob and sing the campfire song. Or headbang to this awesome Nine Inch Nails song 10 times.
(10) Take it out. Take a couple of teaspoons of coconut milk that you reserved (you DID reserve it right?) and brush it all over on the top.
(11) Shove it back into the oven and set your oven at grill function and totally zap the top til it becomes nice and dark brown. This is the best bit. Its crazy chewy crispy. Watch it like a hawk ok? Cos it might burn easily depending on how superpower your oven is.
(12) Now take it out and wait for it to cool before slicing into little cubes/ slices, star shaped whatever. According to this pictorial cross section meticulously drawn by an ex-girlfriend, it should look like something like this:
(13) Eat with your friends, enemies, superheros and loved ones. Or have it all to yourself cos its seriously moreish.
Ok im off to diet, slap on a face mask, watch a flurry of beautiful people videos and consider plastic surgery.